Happy Hump Day {{first_name | Toaster}} 🐪 ,

With Mother’s Day coming up this weekend, and of course, there’s a lot of well-deserved celebration around moms. But behind the flowers and brunch reservations, the data shows that two-thirds of moms have considered leaving the workforce due to the cost and stress of childcare. Some already have, and others haven’t left, but they’ve adjusted.

Because for many women, work and motherhood present a no-win situation: Be open about being a mom, and you risk being seen as less committed. Downplay it, and you open yourself up to a different kind of judgment, one that says you’re not present enough at home. Damned if you do. Damned if you don’t.

Many women are choosing not to disclose that they are mothers at work in order to manage perception. They may schedule messages to send after school drop-off hours, avoids mentioning childcare conflicts unless necessary, or return from maternity leave early and quickly re-establish themselves to minimize the disruption.

Modern workplaces weren’t designed with mothers in mind. They were built around the expectation of being always available, always responsive, and always visible. At the same time, expectations of motherhood have intensified. Mothers today are expected to be deeply present, highly involved, and constantly engaged at home.

So you get a contradiction: A workplace that rewards visibility and a role at home that demands presence. And no version of showing up that fully satisfies both.

This week, our CEO graciously got us all a copy of “Start with Yourself”. The Author Emma Grede, CEO and co-founder of Good American and founding partner of Skims, reflects on building her career while raising children and the constant commentary that came with it.

She describes being criticized for prioritizing her career, framed as a “bad mother” for not being home enough. If you’re visible at work, you’re questioned at home. The inverse is just as true - if you centre motherhood, your commitment gets questioned. Instead of choosing one side, many mothers adapt by managing what they share.

Companies will point to policies such as parental leave, flexibility, return-to-work programs. But when using those policies changes how you’re perceived, the support stops feeling safe to use. In fact, research shows a flexibility paradox meaning that even when mothers use flexible options, they can face heavier workloads or fewer opportunities for advancement.

If companies truly want to support mothers, it can’t stop at policies or perks. It has to show up in how performance is evaluated, how opportunities are distributed, and how leadership potential is defined. Motherhood shouldn’t feel like something to manage around.

And with Mother’s Day this Sunday, and the inevitable “shoutout to the working moms on our team” LinkedIn posts, it’s worth asking: What are we actually celebrating, if the very same mothers still feel like they have to hide parts of their lives to succeed at work?

Team Toast 🥂

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