Happy Hump Day {{first_name | Toaster}} 🐪 ,

Negotiating feels especially tricky right now. The tech job market has shifted with layoffs and hiring freezes. Increased competition has left many candidates feeling like they have less leverage.

To be fair, negotiating in today's market may look different from what it did in 2021. You may not get every ask, and you probably need to be more strategic and have more evidence to support your case. But a tougher market doesn't mean you shouldn't negotiate at all. In fact, it's often the moments when we feel we have the least power that advocacy matters most.

When bargaining power feels lower, our thinking tends to shift in subtle ways that can make us less likely to advocate for ourselves:

Much of the anxiety about negotiation stems from scarcity.“What if this is my only offer?” “What if they rescind it?” When opportunities feel scarce, it's natural to think: "I should just be happy I got the offer." Women are often taught to just be grateful instead of advocating for our value. That gratitude can quietly turn into accepting less than we deserve.

Most reasonable employers expect negotiation, and most offers have some room built into them. Most hiring managers won't suddenly change their entire opinion of you because you professionally asked a question. An employer isn't extending an offer out of charity. They believe you're the right person for the role. Negotiation is about making sure the deal works for both sides. If they've made you an offer, it's because they want a deal, too.

Fear sometimes sounds like: "I was just wondering if maybe there might be some flexibility, but if not, that's totally okay and I completely understand and I'm still excited..." Before you've even finished your ask, you've already started negotiating against yourself. Women are often socialized to soften requests, manage other people's emotions, and make everyone comfortable.

Negotiation requires a little discomfort. Instead of over-explaining, try: "Based on my experience and market rates, I'd be looking for something closer to $X." Then stop talking. The goal isn't to make the other person comfortable. The goal is to have a productive conversation. Practice the discomfort of asserting yourself.

Research consistently shows that women are often exceptional negotiators when advocating for teams, clients, businesses, friends, family members - basically anyone except themselves. Many women approach self-advocacy differently from how they approach advocacy for others. Imagine you're negotiating on behalf of your best friend. What would you tell her to ask for?

One thing to note is that while confidence is important, negotiation also requires you to come with receipts. Before negotiating, gather evidence on market salary data, comparable roles and compensation, your experience and specialized skills, and measurable achievements and impact. "I feel like I deserve more" isn’t a strong argument. The more objective your case, the easier it becomes to advocate for yourself.

A difficult market may reduce your bargaining power, but it doesn't eliminate your value. Your career won't be defined by every negotiation you win, but it can absolutely be shaped by the ones you never have.

Team Toast 🥂

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